People fall in love here at Karmê Chöling.
It usually means trouble.
You can’t live and work at the same place and expect anything less than a pressure cooker. Add romance to the equation and you might as well give up completely…
On the other hand, it’s great to fall in love, isn’t it?
So I wrote a love poem… It’s called ‘The UPS Guy”:
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THE UPS GUY
…
Woman: Oh… Trevor… you’re home.
Man: Don’t start with your paranoid suspicions today Rebecca. I have a headache.
Woman: How many signatures did you collect today?
Man: I don’t know… fifty… sixty… it doesn’t matter.
Woman: Sixty smiling receptionists…
Man: They meant nothing to me!
Woman: How many tawdry office girls did you flirt with today?
Man: They keep flirting with me! I have to flirt back, it’s part of my training.
Woman: You and your training… trained to hurt me… trained to break my heart…
Man: And I break it on time, everyday, don’t I?!
Woman: Why do you insist on wearing those tight tan shorts?
Man: I have no choice. It’s part of the uniform.
Woman: It’s two degrees outside!
Man: You don’t understand what I have to go through! Delivering packages in the rain and the snow and the bitter cold… being yelled at by disgruntled mailroom clerks… assaulted by the parents of crying children on Christmas Eve… I do it all for you!
Woman: I noticed you stopped wearing your wedding ring.
Man: That means nothing. It… damages the parcels… catches on the packing tape….
Woman: I followed you yesterday.
Man: You didn’t… Why?
Woman: Because I had to know! The way you strut around, climbing in and out of that big boxy brown truck with a swagger and a smirk… I knew something was going on and I was right; I saw you kiss her!
Man: Ok. I admit it! I’ve fallen in love with another woman. She’s beautiful. And she doesn’t judge me the way you do!
Woman: What does she do?
Man: It doesn’t matter… Why should it matter?
Woman: WHAT DOES SHE DO?!
Man: She’s a letter carrier for the US Postal Service!
Woman: NO!! You would cheat on me with gutter trash! A common mailwoman!
Man: She’s different! She’s not like the rest of them!
Woman: I’m sure you’ve been providing each other with excellent customer service.
Man: So what if we are?
Woman: Speedy delivery?!
Man: We always come on time!!
Woman: Why do you hurt me like this?
Man: Because you don’t love me anymore.
Woman: How dare you!
Man: I dare, madam, because I’m on a schedule! Life is short, and I will not waste it without love!
Woman: But don’t you see? I lo-… I lo-… you… I’m just afraid to show it. My parents never hugged me as a child…
Man: Then this, my dear, be our human plight. Either we love too little or we love too much. I guess we are all damaged packages.
Woman: I fell in love with a UPS Man because I believed in the idea of a perfect package.
Man: I’m sorry to disappoint you, Rebecca.
Woman: Me too, Trevor… I guess… I’ll go… pack.
…
© 2009, David Allen McKeel
